books & writing

More Reality

2012-01-05T17:14:00.001-08:00

We've obtained funding to proceed with Reality Bites 2012 and this year I'm stepping down as director to work on my own writing. Mel Meyers will take my place as festival director. Looking forward to the festival without the brain ache of being responsible for the program!

To stay informed about the festival, go to the Sunshine Hinterland Writers' Centre website and join the mailing list.

Reality Writes this time round

2011-02-22T23:54:00.000-08:00

I've been appointed director of the festival again. Working on this year's program as we speak.
Watch this space.

Ten rules for writing fiction

2010-02-24T18:21:00.000-08:00

This two part article is hilarious - and true, all too true
Enjoy. Part 1 Part 2

Reality Bites 3 is up and running

2010-02-04T22:57:00.000-08:00

I have been re-appointed as director of the 2010 Reality Bites Literary Non-ficiton Festival to be held in Cooroy on the Sunshine Coast 24 June - 1 August.
Put those dates in your diary and make sure you don't miss it.

Better still, join the Sunshine Hinterland Writers' Centre and enjoy member discounts on festival tickets. You'll find the link to the website in the right hand column.

Genre fiction specialist

2010-02-04T22:51:00.001-08:00

Books and Writing now has a brilliant assessor on board for genre fiction.
I can now provide high quality assessments to fantasy, sci-fi, speculative fiction writers as well as thriller writers.

Good News on Australian Books

2009-11-10T20:27:00.001-08:00

The Government has said no to changing import restrictions on books, leaving the industry intact. Excellent news for writers and publishers,

Regional Writes Mentorship Awarded to Rhys Rodgers

2009-10-31T05:54:00.000-07:00

Chevallum author Rhys Rodgers has been awarded the Regional Writes manuscript development mentorship.

20 year old Rhys studied creative writing briefly at the University of the Sunshine Coast, but quit and wrote his novel instead. His story, "Jac and the Wild Children", picks up from where JM Barrie left off by re-imagining the origin of the lost boys and pirates of Peter Pan. Rhys has written a beautiful moral tale about power and friendship, betrayal and resistance; about growing up and holding onto the truth that to love one another is the only rule we need to follow.

The winner was selected in a 'blind' read, (without knowing the identity of the authors) from 20 full length manuscripts received from all corners of the Sunshine Coast region. The strong field was narrowed to a shortlist of three, including Cooroy author Tanya Overson and Christine Wunderlich of Yandina.

Rhys will be mentored by local author Annette Hughes, writer in residence at the Butter Factory Arts Centre in Cooroy, and will receive one-on-one coaching through the process of redrafting to take his manuscript to the next stage of development towards publication.

"I've been completely blown away by the quality of submissions to this mentorship program," says Annette," and by the range of genres authors are working across in this region; from fantasy to non-fiction, travel writing to the philosophical investigation of the natural world."

“The professional development workshop component of the Regional Writes program has received great feedback from participants, with most of the workshops booked out, and an extra session scheduled to meet the demand.” said Councillor Jenny McKay. “There is an amazing wealth of literary talent on the coast which Council is pleased to be able to identify and nurture through the Regional Writes program. The collaboration between Council and funding bodies from the Regional Arts Development Fund and Arts Queensland have enabled the delivery of a fantastic program."

Regional Writes

2009-08-20T15:11:00.001-07:00

From 6 September to 15 December I will be the Regional Writes writer-in-residence at the Butter Factory Arts Centre in Cooroy. There will be a range of programs available, including a manuscript development mentorship.

Submissions close 30 September, and the mentorship will be announced 30 October. The author must be available to work on the manuscript during the residency.

So, get your submission in, and good luck.

for more information got to the website.

Competition rundown

2009-08-01T16:50:00.000-07:00

2009 HAL PORTER SHORT STORY COMPETITION
18 DECEMBER 2009
Australian writers are invited to enter a short story, written in any style for the first prize of $1000. Manuscripts must be original works, in English, and must not have been previously accepted for publication, which includes websites. Any style of story is acceptable. No entry form is necessary. Stories will not be returned. Mail entries and entry fees to Hal Porter Short Story Competition, East Gippsland Art Gallery, 2 Nicholson St, Bairnsdale, Victoria, 3875. Submission guidelines and conditions of entry at http://eastgippslandartgallery.org.au/uploads/pdfs/HalPorterSSC09_GuidelinesConditions.pdf.

OPPORTUNITIES

WOMEN WARRIORS: FIGHTING BREAST CANCER
Would you like to contribute to the fight against breast cancer? Do you have a story you would like to share with others? Robyn Morris is editing an anthology of stories regarding the trials of breast cancer. Stories are encouraged from breast cancer patients, their friends and/or their family. Individual chapter submissions will be around 2000-5000 words although larger chapters will be considered. Poetry will be considered also. Please contact Robyn via email on ndu.literary@bigpond.com if you have any further queries or wish to register your interest in this project.

PUBLISHER-SUPPORTED PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT RESIDENCIES
This new non-selective program provides an exciting new professional dimension to Varuna’s successful Professional Development Residency Program, offering an added component of one-on-one time with a publisher. There will be three Publisher-Supported Professional Development Residencies in 2009, from August onwards. A project should be well established in the writer’s imagination and have a secure foundation for development for a residency to be effective. There are only five residents in each professional development residency, and Creative Director Peter Bishop will be the resident tutor. Publishers will visit during the residential week, and each writer will have a one-on-one consultation with the publisher.
The aim of a Professional Development Residency is always to explore the possibilities of the next major step in the creative development of a project. Meredith Curnow (Random House), Aviva Tuffield (Scribe) and Jane Palfreyman (Allen & Unwin) are the publishers involved. The cost of the residency – including all board and lodging – is $2000 (Early Bird Special to end of July is $1800). Information at www.varuna.com.au/publisherprograms.html#pspdr.

Scribe launches the CAL Scribe Fiction Prize

2009-07-27T19:09:00.000-07:00

Scribe is delighted to announce the launch of the CAL Scribe Fiction Prize. The prize is open for an unpublished manuscript by any Australian writer over 35, who may or may not have been published before. The winner of the CAL Scribe Fiction Prize will be awarded a book contract from Scribe and a prize of $12,000. The winner will be announced in March 2010. For entry forms visit http://www.scribepublications.com.au/prize.

For more information see attached media release, or contact:

Susan Hornbeck
Publicity Manager
Scribe
Australian Small Publisher of the Year 2006/2008
PO Box 523
Carlton North VIC 3054

Tel: 03 9349 5955
Mobile: 0434 01 30 80
Fax: 03 9348 2752

Email: shornbeck@scribepub.com.au
Web: www.scribepublications.com.au

Be my guest

2009-07-24T04:53:00.000-07:00

Seeing as I'm doorbitch to the reality Bites Festival, I'm inviting you and your friends to this .

Hope you can make it.

One for the playwrights

2009-07-15T04:31:00.000-07:00

This interview with Albee is a don't miss.

If you are a budding playwright, Albee has much to teach on the subject, especially what he has to say about what you need to take on board from the other arts. Wonderful stuff.

self publishing dilemma

2009-06-07T16:05:00.000-07:00

Saw this article recently about why we should embrace self publishing. It makes an interesting point that book publishing is now at the same place as the music industry was when the technology became available for independent musicians to produce and duplicate their own CDs on computer.

It is a mere pimple on the bum of the big producers - they could care less if an individual makes a few records to sell to their friends, likewise the publishers. It will not eat into their market at all, really.

Now there are free downloads of software on which you can format and publish your own book, either on line with a site like Yudu.com, or blurb.com, where you can order as few as one copy of your book.

No matter how schmick your self published book-shaped-object is, it is still the content that counts. What the big houses have that the self publisher doesn't is backup - editors, publicists, warehouses and distribution. Before you press your own print button - make sure that your content is of as high a quality as you can achieve.

Good luck with it.

So, What's Your Story?

2009-05-13T03:31:00.000-07:00

The forthcoming Reality Bites Festival will feature on Sunday 26 July, "Getting It Up" a Pitching clinic for non-fiction authors. The panel will consist of Two Documentary film makers - Suzanne Howard and Luke Barrowcliffe, UQP non-fiction publisher Alexandra Payne and myself.

It is NOT a pitching competiton. As a participant you get 5 minutes to tell your true story - it's a great way to hone your synopsis skills. Then the panel will crit not only the pitch itself, but the potential market and form for the story. No one gets read before hand - it's entirely presentation based.

Find out more and make a booking, visit the website.

Fiction manuscript development opportunity

2009-05-04T00:08:00.000-07:00

QWC/ Hachette Australia Manuscript Development Program for

Fiction Writers

Queensland Writers Centre (QWC) and Hachette Australia are proud
to announce an exciting new national program for fiction writers.
This program has been created for emerging Australian authors of
fiction who are either unpublished or have no more than one
significant work commercially published. Up to 10 emerging
fiction writers will work with publishers from Hachette Australia
to develop high-quality fiction manuscripts. The program is open
to applicants Australia-wide who are Australian citizens or
permanently reside in Australia. There is a $50 application fee
per submission. Download full guidelines and application forms at
[1]www.qwc.asn.

au.

Deadlines

Applications open in May 2009.

The deadline for submission is last post 24 July 2009.

The manuscript development retreat will run in southeast
Queensland from 20-25 November 2009.

References

1. http://www.qwc.asn.au/

The writing process.

2009-04-03T22:00:00.000-07:00

This interview with me for the Sydney Writer's Centre contains some commentary on writing and advice on the process of writing.

WELCOME

2009-01-04T22:45:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Books and Writing.

The industry has changed dramatically since I first entered it in the mid nineties. These days, with so many literate, well educated people hoping to make it into print, there is a hell of a lot more competition out there than ever before. Australian author Frank Moorhouse refers to it as a log jam of manuscripts bobbing about with no where to go.

In order to gain an edge over the competition, many first time authors are seeking the advice of an independent reader with knowledge of the craft and the industry, to ensure that their work is publishable before sending it out into the world.

If you are thinking of trying to find an agent or publisher for your work but are unsure if it is ready, then an assessment can provide that final polish, highlight structural problems and, if it turns out to be a work of heartbreaking genius, give you that extra boost of confidence you need to go out and sell your manuscript.

I specialise in literary fiction and non-fiction, memoir and biography, YA (young adult) and general commercial and genre fiction.

Click on the links to the right to find out more about the service.

manuscript development funding

2009-01-04T19:56:00.000-08:00

If you are an established or emerging author, there are avenues for funding new writers to develop their work.

Regional writers and writer's groups can apply to RADF (Regional Arts Development Fund) to employ the skills of a professional to take an unpublished work to submission stage. The various state arts funding bodies also fund individuals to develop their work.

The Australia Council is extremely competitive, but with local regional arts funding bodies, though they don't have a large budget, there is less competition for funds.

It is worth doing a bit of research to find out if you are eligible to apply. Should you find that your project is suitable for funding, I am happy to provide quotes and advice for the application process.

Mentoring

2009-01-03T15:28:00.000-08:00

If your manuscript assessment indicates high potential for publication, Books & Writing can provide a one-on-one mentoring service to emerging writers, designed to help the first-timer through the complex process of a re-write.

The mentoring process is intense, and I only take on one or two at a time for this reason. It can be done at a distance by email or phone, or in person if you are local to the Queensland Sunshine Coast.

I will only enter into a mentoring relationship if I am sure of the quality and potential of the manuscript.

2011 Rates Schedule

2009-01-03T15:24:00.000-08:00

MANUSCRIPT ASSESSMENT
Up to 30,000 words $450

Up to 80,000 words $500

Up to 100,000 words $520

Up to 150,000 words $570

Up to 200,000 words $620

Up to 250,000 words $670

Up to 300,000 words $720

MENTORING
Package: $1500
three readings and reports plus edit of synopsis and pitch document.

by consultation p/h $ 60
Fees are based on fee structures outlined in the ASA and MEAA guidelines, but terms are negotiable for organisations reliant on funding applications. The applicant will receive a contract outlining terms and conditions in detail, and assessment will commence on signature of that agreement.

How to submit your manuscript to publishing industry standards:

Printed on one side of A4 pages.
12-point font (eg Times New Roman), double line-spaced.
A key word from the title in the top right corner with the page number.
Unbound, secured with elastic bands and bubble wrap.
Sent securely using robust packaging (Express Post satchels are recommended).

Your title page should include:

The name of the work.
Your contact details formatted in the same font and size as the manuscript.
Please complete the attached application form below and include it with payment and a printed copy of your manuscript.

Manuscript Assessment

2009-01-03T15:08:00.000-08:00

WHAT DOES AN ASSESSOR DO?

The point of manuscript assessment is to get your manuscript to a polished first draft which can be confidently sent out into the marketplace. I read the work critically and note anything that slows me down, makes me laugh, grabs my attention, annoys or delights me. I let it settle for a few days with those notes in mind, then I sit down to compose a detailed report on what I loved about it and what doesn't work, and make suggestions about how the mansucript might be improved.

Books & Writing provides a personal service. I am your reader and your report will be filtered through my industry knowledge and experience of ten years of professional reading.

WHAT IS IN THE REPORT?

The report will start with a description of the work so that you can guage whether or not I have understood it and read it according to its major themes. From there I will continue with a detailed analysis of the major problems with the work that would prevent it being picked up by a publisher or agent. This will include observations about voice, characterisation, plot, pace, structure, language etc, and an analysis of the work's position in the marketplace. The report is impartial. It refers only to the work and is drawn from long experience in the industry. Reports are not designed to boost ego, they are designed to help you get your manuscript into the best possible shape before you send it out into the world.

WHAT DO I DO WITH IT?

This is the hardest part. No one can write your book for you, and there is no guarantee that you will be published. You have to be able to take the information and use it to your advantage to give you an edge over your competitors. In addition to the report, you will receive tailored information and advice about how to proceed towards your goal of publication.

Before you consider applying for assessment, consider the following questions:

1. Is the manuscript ready for appraisal?

Your manuscript needs to be correctly formatted for submission (as you would prepare it to send to a publisher). It must be printed on one side only of A4 paper, in 12 point type (I prefer Times New Roman), with a header at the top right hand corner of the page containing the title and pagination. The title page should include the title, your name and the word count and your contact details.

It will have been read by several friends and relations and is ready to be read by a stranger.

2. Is there an audience for your work?

Publishing is a very competitive business and sales are a major consideration for the big corporate publishers. A manuscript has to have market potential to be considered. They want to know that it is not only readable, but sellable to an identifiable audience. Does your book have one? Do you know which publishers' imprints would best suit your work? Can you name a list of authors whose writing your work most resembles? Are you sure of its genre? Can you explain why people would pay money to read your book?

An assessment can help you determine whether or not your manuscript has commercial potential and advise the best approach to make to a prospective agent or publisher, but you need to be ruthless with yourself here – can you articulate why the world needs to know your story?

3. Can you accept criticism?

There is no point in submitting your manuscript for appraisal without being tough enough to take on board constructive criticism. An assessment will provide you with a detailed report which is designed to give professional and honest advice and feedback on its strengths and the areas that need improvement. Do you see criticism as a positive step towards improving your craft?

If you've answered yes to these three questions, then your manuscript sounds ready for assessment. For more information or to enquire about mentorship, leave a comment below.

Who Needs and Agent?

2009-01-03T15:00:00.000-08:00

I was at Byron Bay last year, having been asked speak to a group of apiring writers. The gig, about the role of the agent and the publihser, was organised by the Northern Rivers Writer's Centre. The other speaker was Carol Davidson, Random House publisher of Peter Carey, among many others. We did a bit of a good cop bad cop routine - I was the agent and we took an imaginary book through the process of arriving in the agent's slush pile to publication.

I wrote up some notes in preparation for the gig and thought that they might be useful to aspiring writers who are interested in what an agent does, and how to get one. It refers to the Australian situation, though it holds pretty much the same in the rest of the world.

WHO NEEDS AN AGENT ?

Nobody actually needs an agent, but it is a good thing for a literary creative artist to have. Why?

• Agents look after your interests and advocate on your behalf. A publishing contract is great if it all goes swimmingly and there are no problems that emerge between you and your publisher, but if it goes horribly wrong, and it can, the agent is the go-between who can smooth out disagreements, advise whether or not you have a leg to stand on, and if you do, will go in and fight for you. They know the market, and what is reasonable for a writer to receive in exchange for your copyright, and which rights to reserve.

• An agent can be a sounding-board for ideas, or a reader of new work who knows if it is commercial in the market place, a confidant or a business manager who can also represent you for spin off work - public speaking, screen-rights, archive sales to libraries, overseas rights and translation sales and is skilled in negotiating the deal for such things. The agent looks after all intellectual property rights and if you are not aware of them, can make suggestions if appropriate.

• Occasionally an agent may also have a background in publishing, with excellent editorial skills, and may be relied upon to give structural advice about your MS, or have marketing skills and be able to advise the best way to present yourself and your work to best advantage.

• An agent can hold an auction of your MS if they consider it to be highly commercial and in demand by publishers, whether because the MS is topical, potentially a best seller, or a work of heartbreaking literary genius that will add lustre, at least, to a publisher's list - like the potential of winning the Miles Franklin, or a premier's award - anything that will raise it's profile above the rest.

• But generally, the one thing an agent has that is to your advantage as a writer, is access to publishers. Agents are the first cabs off the rank in the minds of publishing directors. Agents who have a good track record and a list of previous success stories are, of course, going to be listened to, and that is simply the way of the world.

• And, as Birmo added when he first read this post, agents say no. They protect you and your precious time and keep the world at bay.

SO, HOW DO YOU GET AN AGENT?

It is possible to be published for the first time without an agent , and indeed these days, it is unlikely that an agent will sign an unknown quantity without a track record of some sort that can be used to 'talk up' the work,

• like previous short stories in journals,

• a background in journalism and a known byline,

• fame of some other description - especially in the case of memoir or auto-biography, like sporting prowess etc.

• There are avenues for young writers like the Vogel and Varuna H/C program, and A&U has a slush pile Tuesday where you can pitch to an editor.

But the scope is limited, and very frustrating if you are a marginally elderly author (over thirty) with no other work under your belt.

It is also possible to get an agent interested in you and your work if you have no prior form - but it is difficult to achieve, and depends entirely on whether or not there is anything in the potential relationship for the agent - agents don't do it for love and devotion to the arts; it is a financial decision which can be made on many different levels in many different ways, depending on the individual agent and the MS or author they are deciding to represent - or not.

Any number of how-to-get-published books will give you the step by step conventional path to (hopefully) getting published, so I won't go there because to the beginning author, they are about as useful as a wet paper-cup. You will inevitably land in the slush pile, and sink to the bottom of it under the weight of all those published authors who are hoping to sell their third or fourth book into a market that is, as Frank Moorhouse puts it, logjammed.

What you are after is the back stage pass, right? Bad news folks - there isn't one, but here are a couple of subtle ways to get yourself to the front of the line at the stage door:

• Sometimes, and this is true for most artist representatives, including art dealers, A&R people from record companies, it is a word of mouth reference that gets you an in. Another artist/writer will mention you and your work to their agent as an interesting new talent, and if the writer is respected by the agent , they'll give it a look. The same can happen with publishers. But if you are on the edges, that's going to be hard to get - not being IN the scene, or not part of an academic or journalistic institution who also have contacts in common with the publishing world.

• Try your best to find yourself a mentor, someone whose work you really admire. There are funded programs offering mentorships, and these are very valuable relationships. If you are offered one, take it with both hands and milk it for all it is worth. But if you can't get an 'official mentor' identify a bunch of authors whose work you really admire. Write them a fan letter, set up a correspondence and point of contact. You'd be surprised how few fan letters author's receive. And you know what? they write back! (I wrote a totally deadshit fan letter to Jeannette Winterson and she replied. I wrote as a reader, and did not mention that I was an agent . Just an ordinary reader. I was that chuffed.?

• DON'T do this if you intend to talk about you. Of course, eventually the subject of your own eneavour will come up and you'll admit that you are a writer, but wait for your correspndent to offer advice and help. If people gauge that your interest in them is sincere and genuine, they will help you. Let the relationship grow naturally. This can lead to friendship and moral support at least, especially if you are isolated. Remember, writing takes time, and so does reading - authors are busy writing their own work, and while pleased to discuss nuts and bolts of the process, are not eager to read other writer's work while in the head-space of writing their own.

• The best way to get foot hold is simply by working in the industry. I was the 'table slave' for Rose Creswell before I even dreamed of becoming an agent . I just wanted to work with books and authors, and didn't care how mundane the task, as long as I got to hang out with her and her clients. Get a job in a book shop, a library - anything to do with books. No matter what else happens, it will give you an understanding of the competition you'll be up against in the marketplace, and you'll gain a better idea of what kinds of stories are being read by your potential audience - readers. Go to book launches, introduce yourself, join a reading group, arrange for an author to visit and talk to your group. Figure out who people are and what they do.

• Read. I can't tell you how many wannabe authors don't read. They would get on the phone and I'd ask, 'What are you reading?', and the reply would be, 'Oh no, I'm a writer.' (I kid you not). Read so that you can confidently state your literary influences if asked - especially if it is an agent or publisher who asks you. If it corresponds to the kind of writing that sells well, you may find the conversation grow into curiosity on their part, about your work.

• Get on the net and search out blog sites. Lots of authors are beginning to use the web as a hub for their fans. If you are a Sci-fi - speculative fiction author, check out Birmo's Cheesburger Gothic - he is generous to a fault with information about the writing process and spends a lot of time nurturing the efforts of the people who frequent his blogspot. Join a blogging community if you can find one that is related to your own work and see if there are contacts within those communities who can help your cause. Set up your own blog and publish samples of your work. You never know who's watching. And relax, noone will steal your material in the blogosphere, everyone is too busy bogging their own.

• Festivals have changed everything since I began as an agent . Whereas once the literary social scene was limited to a few bars and lunching spots frequented by a small 'in the know' group of people, now there is opportunity for writers to mix and mingle in the atmosphere of a festival - speak to authors, perhaps be introduced to their publicists and publishers and generally, where those people are, you'll find an agent hanging out as well. You've actually got more chance of meeting an agent or publisher at the Byron festival than you have if you move to the big smoke and try to enter the scene in Sydney. When agents and publishers are on their own turf, they tend to be working their arses off because they spend so much time at festivals!

• However, and this is a big DON'T, whatever you do, if you do manage to find yourself sitting on a bar stool next to Lynne Tranter, do not corner her, or anyone else for that matter, and tell her the entire plot of your new novel. This will guarantee that you will never be published, ever, probably into several reincarnations. You can do pretty much anything to impress yourself on the potential representative of your work - fall down drunk while singing all the words to the sound track of Sound of Music, (that worked for me), tell endlessly amusing stories about your pets or ex-husband - but you must never, under any circumstances, BORE people with a long, badly abridged version of your masterpiece. Agents have VERY long memories, and word can spread quickly. Rather, spend a year honing your pitch down to one paragraph before even mentioning that you have written a book. Sheesh, that's all a film maker gets to get a film pitch across - why should you get more?

But for me, it was the work itself, which arrived more often than not, in the slush pile. The slush pile is a fact of life for a new author, so here are some secret-agent's-business tips:

• The slush pile is already full of known authors who are on their second or third book. You will not find yourself at the top if the runner up of the previous year's Vogel is in it.

• Contrary to popular opinion, the slush pile does eventually get read - it just takes time, which agents have precious little of. All my reading was done at home in my very own time off. Do not under any circumstances ring up and get huffy if you've not heard back in four weeks - that can be how long it takes to open the bloody envelope.

• The cover letter, synopsis and first three chapters are vital. I always forgave a bad first chapter - they are as hard as any thing to write and are often stilted and self conscious, it takes time to get a rhythm going, but if it's not happening by chapter three, chances are the rest of the book isn't going to be up to it either. It will be politely rejected. You spend money on your brakes and tyres - if your MS is as precious to you as your life, spend time and money on getting that document as perfect as it can possibly be. Engage an editor. Put a year into it, make it seamlessly rivetingly interesting - leave your reader begging for more.

• An agent will not appreciate you calling up to demand a dissertation on why they did not have the intelligence to sign you up immediately. They will simply take your name and write it on the black list of mad authors they keep in their head, never to be read again. If you are rejected, put it in a drawer and resend some time later, re written, with a short note saying that you realise it has been around before, but that you've dramatically reworked it and would be grateful for another look. I never forgot a story synopsis, so don't try to pretend it is new - be honest, and you will be treated with corresponding respect.

And remember, agents are there to do business. If you are rejected, although it feels like it at the time, it is not personal. If there is no foreseeable return on the investment of time and energy that it takes to promote, defend and push an author's work, they just can't afford the luxury of taking you on, no matter how good your story, or even how much they love and adore you as a human being.

This is a business a this level, on a very lean margin. Lets do the sum.

Let's say your book took you three years to write, but you were working part time, so you had an income, or the support of a partner, so you didn't starve - now it is ready to send out there. It is a piece of brilliant literary fiction. You've had a couple of short stories published and you've written some pieces for Vogue Living, and a few interesting Op Ed pieces for the Herald. You've sent it through the slush pile, and because I'm such a sucker for gorgeous arty prose, I call you in to discuss your work, and am convinced over a couple of glasses of red down at the Bayswater Brasserie that from what you've said, there's more where that came from, and I sign you up to the agency because you seem like a proper person, you're not particularly nuts, you're gregarious and funny and personable and it seems to me that you'd be able to handle the hurley burley of being a performing monkey at a literary festival without hyperventilating and fleeing in a flurry of panic attack.

So, we agree on the standard - 12 and a half percent of any contract I negotiate for you, including spin offs like film rights, because I'm convinced that there is a film in the book and I've got a pretty good idea of which producer would go there. I spend a fortune photocopying up multiple copies because I think it is the next big thing, and set up an auction because I firmly believe that if the publishers don't snap up your brilliant career, they are insane. I send it out, wait, get impatient of lack of response, and find that only one publisher is interested. No competition. Now I'm fucked. I'm going to have to take what I can get, and in this case, because it's a first novel by a new author, and we already know that there are only 2000 readers, max, of this kind of new Australian fiction, the only way they can make the figures work is to offer an advance of $5000. I'm gob smacked, hop up and down and generally throw a fairly ugly tantrum, but there's nothing I can do except bend over and take it up the arse and wait till it wins the Premier's Award, smirk smugly, and wait for the next novel to arrive. This is a long term investment of time for which I may receive little more than a return for the photocopying costs.

The commission on the advance is $625 - I'd have to do ten of these deals a month just to turn over an extremely modest wage, after expenses and overheads, and hope like hell that the film rights deal will happen.

So people. once you do the sums, you realise it isn't you, or your failure - it's just the way things are, it is business. Therefor, the author needs to approach it as such and understand the business thoroughly before venturing out into it.

Hope this is helpful and good luck.